When Was It
by Mystic Storys
Summary: Kaname is facing his own inner turmoil since awakening from hibernation and he's beginning to realize it's about more than he originally considered.


Another day, another failed attempt in finding Lord Uroko. It's been almost a week since Manaka woke up and even longer since we began our desperate search for the Scale of the Sea God without any luck. It feels like we have turned every rock in Shioshishio and still no sign of where he could be. All we know for sure is that he isn't sleeping because Miuna said that she saw him at Namiji Junior High.

The search has been difficult even impossible at times but Hikari is still just as determined and motivated as ever, which makes me, and the other, worry. I feel like Lord Uroko's whereabouts should be obvious, his duty is to watch over and protect the children of the sea, the people of Shioshishio, but they're all still asleep. I'm positive the answer lies in his duty and we are missing something right in front of us, but then again my focus hasn't been one hundred percent since I've awoken from hibernation. I've been a bit distracted, by him, Tsumugu Kihara.

After our search today Akari invited everyone over for dinner at the Shiotome residence, where Hikari and Manaka are staying with Akari's family. Now Tsumugu, Chisaki and I are making our way back to the Kihara's resident, where Chisaki has also been living for the last five years. While the rest of us slept Chisaki was left on the surface and had to grow up and make memories without us but in the process, she grew even closer to Tsumugu.

When I look ahead I see Chisaki and Tsumugu walking side by side, and even though there is no physical contact or romantic action it's still obvious, the feeling they shared. Feelings that I know I'll never be on the receiving end of. No matter the time or age or anything, I was to always be overlooked, even if I loved her first. Even though I was by their, I mean her side first. Oh, who am I kidding, this has become about more than just Chisaki for a long time now, not that she doesn't play a part.

In the beginning, it was Hikari who was so sure that Tsumugu was going to be his problem, or rival if you may, but the reality is that he became mine, he has always been mine. Like I said this isn't just about love anymore, though it is still significant. This is about the most significant relationships in my life; my best friends, Hikari, Chisaki, and Manaka, who I have been with since we were all babies. Yet somehow Tsumugu managed to find a way to worm himself into our little group and consequently affect everything between us.

Now the real question is when? When was it? When did I start feeling this way whenever I saw Tsumugu? When did hearing his name churn something wrong in my stomach?

Was it when I saw Manaka becoming bolder and more self-spoken? No that doesn't sound right, I was happy to see her become more confident at the time, to see that she was learning to speak up and stand up all on her own. Now though I have to admit, at the time knowing that the small interactions with an outsider were able to make such a huge impact on someone so close to me was a bit bothersome. Maybe if I wasn't just watching everyone else live their lives I would have noticed the changes earlier.

Then was it when I heard him talk about Hikari, in the way that only those closest to him originally knew? No that's still not it, I was relieved to hear that someone was able to understand what Hikari was really like. But maybe I should have felt a bit cautious that someone was able to understand my best friend in a way I use to believe only I knew. Maybe if I wasn't busy with Sayu and Miuna at the time I would have pieced together the threat.

No, it's obvious the moment of clarity was when I saw him and Chisaki that day at the edge of the sea. After I saw how much he could affect her, I realized how much of an impact he had on all of them. Seeing her so hurt and angry and so very un-Chiskai it was clear whose rival he really was.

Tsumugu Kihara, in such a short time he became the wrench in our friendship. Manaka became more confident, Hikari more aware and Chisaki, oh how he affected Chisaki. Even before the five years of hibernation, he was already causing changes in her, and he must have loved it. Watching her change and become affected by their seemingly innocent interactions. Being able to fall in love and know that she was falling too, it must be wonderful.

I don't want to hate him, heck I was the one that thought Hikari should put more of effort in accepting him. Jeez was that a mistake, because of that I was the one being edged out bit-by-bit and I didn't even realize until it was too late. Now I'm just left feeling alone.


End file.
